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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Hilton's last Hurrah

After winning the prestigious Burnaby Eagles goal-kicking award, the Eagles were left reeling when Colin Hilton - club president - announced his resignation as President immediately.

Senior Eagles were stunned, not only by Hilton’s actions but also by his timing. One source close to the club said: “He has just won his first goal kicking award in 41 years. What is he thinking? Surely this is a time to promote himself. Not go into his shell and accept the award in the quite, humble manner that he did.”

In a bid to clear the air, Hilton has sent out a press release due to his shyness and dislike to public speaking.

“G’day everyone. Firstly I appologise for not fronting for a press conference but as you all are aware I find it difficult to talk for long periods of time. Therefore I thought it best that I announce it in writing, my resignation as President from the Burnaby Eagles Football Club effective immediately”.

“While I have only been president for 3 years, I believe it is time to pass the baton to another less capable man. Who that may be, I know not. What I do know is, whoever gets the job should strongly consider naming this goal-kicking award after me. All they need to do is ask. I am very obliging like that. Also, I would like this opportunity to announce I will be concentrating more on footy. I’ve always said I would be a pretty good player if I was fit”.

“After carrying the club and in particular the forward lines, I have decided in the best interest of the club that I fully focus on teaching our players how to kick goals”.

“I have built this club from the ground up with my bare hands. Just like Pete Taylor’s house, my handball targets, my trophies, the list goes on. I now intend to build our forward line from the ground up”.

Mr. Hilton who could not be contacted by phone today was spotted roadside along Highway 1 at about 2am Sunday morning, bending over with hands on knees. Perhaps he has already started his fitness campaign and decided to run home after the BC Footy awards night.


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